A year has passed in a blink of eyes. it is a wonderful journey. On our first anniversary,our little A already 2 months old and the day will be just perfect with him around. For us, It’s not just a journey as a married couple, but more like a journey of a decade relationship that keep us together since my Brother introduced me to his close friend at 10 Juli 2005. How do I describe him ??? At the first sight, I thought he is a jerk. But, the weird thing was that I couldn’t put my icy face on him. I always have a hard time when it comes to strangers, I used to be cold and put myself in a distance and ignore their existence. But it doesn’t work on him. as a stranger we kept talk, and teased one another, and we managed to exchange jacket and beanie when we were at Mountain . hahahahhaaaa….. You know hate and attraction are as thin as air. Did I just admit my sin??? that I was attracted to him since the day we met?? oh…crap… yes.. I did. Happy now Mr. A. that I finally tell you that I was attracted to you, no… not before you show me your gentle, care towards me. not before you kept holding my hands even tough the roads no longer up hill. I thought that was the first and last time I saw him. But turns out I was 100% wrong. I never know that he took the same admission test for the scholar ship as I did, yet he did know me. and we didn’t know that we both took the same Polytechnic. Then it came a complicated-unstable-roller coaster-like university life of mine, I kept my ex-boy friends piled up on my list. and he, as the way he is, kept his cool and flat act. and he got his side job to prepare his ear, time and heart to listen to me nagging him about this and that, crying here and there. I was clinging to him like a baby, like a tiny little sister. Lots of people misunderstood our relationship, but that was me and A they were talking about and we didn’t care. as long as it doesn’t physically hurt me or person close to me, you can talk as you like. I don’t even care when my boy friend complained about him. I kept tailing A, disturb him with a random visit to his place, or annoyance him with my midnight call. I didn’t care. because as far as I see him. the only thing I could see is a sincere brother, and as far as I could remember, I do have the same sincere love for him as a sister. One of the thing that I like when I visited him wasn’t a room mate I secretly I had my eyes on… hahahahaaa… But I like when He took me home with his ‘Koko’ shirt and sarong, pass trough our polytechnic in the night. And even after we graduated university, A is still A. With his cold and and flat expression but gentle and care inside. and me… hahahhaaa… still me, complicated, clumsy as always. but since we start to work in two different places, it was hard for me to just bump in his place like I did in university. we rarely met. Then came the destined day when he told me that he loves me…. hahahhahaaaa……. When he sent me that message I wish I could punch him really hard on the head to clear his nonsense for a moment, I was shocked. But, when I thought about it over again, I finally gave him a chance. hope that things would be better. But the reality was, I trapped in a very confusing relationship, we no longer ‘just a friend’ I can tell everything to, but we hard to be a lover like everyone does. the feeling of him as a brother never left me. We were arguing for like hundreds times, and we broke up and made up again for dozens times. I thought we were not ready for the relationship, I thought we better live on our own for real that time while I know, the relationship was change, my brother won’t comeback ever again.. the feeling won’t be the same. never. But, I never know that A still watch over me, send me messages to give me lots of affection, because I kept doing ridiculous and stupid things. I fell over and over to a guy, lots of people asked me to be away from. I swore to get rid of everything that came in our way and do anything… anything necessary to keep him around but he just gone and left me and I got my self hurt really bad like I never felt before but then A came again. save me.

and everything is like just happen, we together again,

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