Here I am, checking my point all over again. Today I am getting older.. should I be happy about this??? heheheee…. but I am kind of getting used with ‘older’ term. since I am a teacher as well the lecturer, I use to be a people who ‘acknowledged’ as older and should act like one.
and the previous year I spent with grateful, Allah gave me a lot of wonderful things including Mr. A. He is there for me when I was down, his hand lift me up from my most horrible state that time. I thank ALLAH for sent me someone like you, A. I really do. that year was surprising year, full of amazing things, tears and laughter. and today.. I should think about what does it means to be grown up. I’ve been thinking this kind of things almost every year since everybody start to called me a lady, or a woman. means that I am no longer a ‘girl’ where I can running around everywhere doesn’t care about what people might think or do foolish things in the crowd and I can walk away just like that without a burden. and I realize since that point of time where I was no longer a girl I have to be more responsible about what I did. although that does not help much. but as the times flies… I know, 100% in my consciousness, that the reality is I am grown up, a lot of people will judge, a lot of students will see, and I can’t be that careless girl anymore.
but deep inside, I know. that free, happy girl never go anywhere. that’s the other reality. I thought, mentally, I stop grown at the age of 20. no… I mean it. I really do think about it. I realize it. I do what 20 girl love to do, do stupid things, weird things, when I am alone or if I with someone I trust most and I am comfortable with. I know, being a mentally stop grown at the age of 20, beside I can enjoy a lot of simple things, laugh freely like I am just a person without any responsibility, I also have unstable emotion (this part annoying). well….I’ve got a hard time try to control it.
well, today when I think about being a grown woman, all I can think about is responsibility. and that’s a huge work and that will be my focus for the following years. I have to responsible to my self, I have to manage my time so I won’t waste a second. I have to be in class on time, make teaching material before the class start, become that responsible and patient teacher for them. that a lot of works. I have to learn how to manage my time for teaching and do my hobby. I’ll do better…. I definitely will. 😀
and today I stick on Mr. A for hours talking, reminisence about the old days back than in university, about our friends, I did remind him about some ‘teasing’ activity he did to me. he is that kind of man you know… hahahahaaaa… but I like that, we were best friend and no matter what kind of phase we’re in, we date now, and we still are best friend… 😀 and when the night fall, we went to Garden Cafe to have a romantic dinner… under the laaammmpssss ….. (FYI, Lamp is one of the cutest things in the world, see them makes me smile aaaaaalll the time). and see the way he smile at me… nothing is better than his smile, even that lamps.